Oh No, Not Again!
by Frizz the Eccentric
Summary: Third in the Strange Happenings trilogy. And aboslutly nothing has changed!
1. Chapter 1

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 1 -- Intermission

Hello! The Strange Happenings Trilogy is back!

Readers: Well that certainly didn't take long.

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

In the last chapter, absolutely nothing of interest happened. They didn't even leave the department store.

Sarah: Wait! If this is a new story then why did it pick up where the last one left off?

Because I didn't feel like writing up a new beginning.

Data: -Doesn't say anything, instead stuffs his face with almonds-

Dr. Crusher: When did you get this almond addiction?

Data:** MY ALMONDS! **- Tightens his grip on his jar of almonds-

Andy Warhol: I wish I could film this. I'd make a good movie.

Frizz: It's already making an excellent story and if you use it I'm suing you!

Eugene: But _you're_ using other people's characters.

Frizz: Yes, but I have a disclaimer.

**END OF PART I **

**INTERMISSION **

**33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333**

**33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333**

**33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 **

**END OF INTERMISSION **

**PART II **

Fred: That was odd.

**END OF PART II **

**PART III **

Sarah: What happened to this being a trilogy?

Frizz: Oh, it still is. I just had that put there as a cheap joke.

Data: -Looks around suspiciously- **MY ALMONDS! **

Fred: Well, I got all of part II to myself. So HA!

Andy Warhol: Stop gloating!

Eugene: **BALALALAKASHINDONG! **

Fred: Why did you say that?

Eugene: It was a sort of spur of the moment thing.

Fred: Ah.

The story is back! Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 2 -- Somewhere Interesting

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SLIGHTLY MORE RANDOMNESS THAN USUAL.

Entipy: Hello!

Frizz: Oh, hi. What brings you here?

Entipy: I just got crushed by a falling elephant.

Frizz: Interesting.

Data: -Glares at Entipy- -Clutches jar of almonds- MINE!

Dr. Crusher: -Turns Data off-

Data: -Collapses-

Andy Warhol: I still wish I had a camera.

Fred: Is you're goal in life to film everything?

Andy Warhol: No. My goal in life is to become famous, for more than 15 minutes.

Eugene: But, you're already famous.

Andy Warhol: Fame is only what people make it out to be. If someone is up on a movie screen, suddenly they're something special. I prefer to be behind the camera.

Dr. Crusher: You're a little crazy aren't you?

Entipy: Let's go somewhere interesting!

Frizz: Okay!

Frizz: -Brings them somewhere interesting-

Sarah: Where are we?

Frizz: Somewhere interesting.

Eugene: Yes, but where?

Frizz: -Point's to sign that reads "Welcome to Somewhere Interesting"-

Fred: Okay.

Capt. Picard: Hello!

Entipy: -Gasp! - He came back from the dead!

**…**

Entipy: I mean the department store!

Dr. Crusher: Did you bring me anything?

Capt. Picard: No, but I got Data some almonds.

Data: - Gets up even though Dr. Crusher turned him off- **_MY ALMONDS! _**

Frizz: Okay, weird.

Done! And I used all of Entipy's suggestions!


	3. Chapter 3

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 3 -- The Bizarre Demise of Dr. Beverly Crusher

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

In the last chapter everyone went somewhere interesting. Nothing interesting has happened yet.

Frizz: Isn't it odd that nothing interesting has happened in a place called "Somewhere Interesting"?

Sarah: That's what you get when you listen to Entipy.

Entipy: HEY!

Just then, David Bowie walked in. Again, the Ziggy Stardust era Bowie.

Andy Warhol: Hello, David.

David Bowie: Hello Andy. Have you forgiven me about that song I wrote?

Andy Warhol: Yes, but only because you have nice shoes.

David Bowie: -Glances down at his plastic, red platform boots- Oh, thanks.

Fred: You two know each other?

David Bowie: Of course! I wrote a song about him!

Andy Warhol: An awful song.

Frizz: Hey! I liked that song!

Suddenly, an enormous fish fell from the sky and crushed Dr. Crusher.

Capt. Picard: -Sinkers at the bad pun-

Fred: Hmm. An enormous fish falling from the sky. Interesting.

Eugene: That's why this place is called "Somewhere Interesting".

Data: I guess she's off to the department store then.

Capt. Picard: What happened to the almonds?

Data: I finished them.

Then, suddenly, an enormous fish fell out of the sky crushing Capt. Picard

Eugene: That department store is going to be pretty full.

Entipy: Wait, if this is a StarTrek fan fiction, then shouldn't most of the character be from StarTrek.

Frizz: Yes, they should, but I've replaced then with more interesting people.

Eugene: And by "interesting" you mean "down right bizarre" right?

**WE INTERRUPT THIS BABBLING FOR ALMOST NO REASON WHAT SO EVER, EXCEPT MAYBE TO IRRITATE THE READERS. BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE ONLY ENTIPY REVIEWS THESE THINGS…**

Readers: Get on with it!

**YES, WELL, THAT'S THE END OF THIS ANNOUNCEMENT. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT. **

Data: What was the point of all that?

None, really.

Fred: Then why did you put it there?

Fun.

So, what did you think?


	4. Chapter 4

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 4 -- Some More Use of the Part-Time Stapling Machine Joke

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Hello! I feel like laughing for no reason today! HAHAHA hee hee hee -chuckle giggle-

Entipy: How come Data is the only StarTrek character left?

Frizz: I told you that in the last chapter.

Worf: -Enters thru a door appearing from nowhere- Hello!

David Bowie: Where did that door come from?

Worf: It was the emergency exit from the department store.

Eugene: What was the emergence?

Worf: I was bored.

Frizz: -Sends Eugene back to his home planet-

Andy Warhol: I'm starting to regret my department store comment. It's being over-used.

David Bowie: But you love things that are over-used!

Andy Warhol: -To Sarah- Are you a part-time stapling machine?

Sarah: Why, yes I am.

Fred: Now _that's_ something that's been over-used.

Over-using things is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

Data: What is this, the chapter of re-hash?

Frizz: I predict that Brian Epstein will fall out of the sky in ten seconds.

Sarah: I don't believe… -Is interrupted by Brian Epstein, who fell out of the sky and landed on her-

Brian Epstein: Oh. I'm terrible sorry.

Frizz: See! I was right! I'm always right! Even when I'm wrong! Except for the times when I really _am _wrong in which I am still right, but only in a different sense of the word 'right' because…

Worf: Do _you _even know what you're talking about any more?

Frizz: Not really.

Brian Epstein: Excuse me, but, where is this?

Entipy: Somewhere interesting.

Brian Epstein: Could you be more specific?

Entipy: No.

Frizz: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

Entipy: Huh?

Fred: Look over there!

They all look to see people are unraveling a sign over a building that reads "George Washington ate the declaration of independence"

Oscar Wilde: Always forgive your enemies; Nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde: -Vanishes in a puff of 19th century humor that is still funny today-

Sarah: Why didn't you keep him for longer? I though he was your new obsession.

Frizz: Because I don't now enough about him to put him in yet. Maybe later.

-Giggle giggle giggle- I seem to find everything funny today... Review!

About the George Washington thing, a few days ago I asked my friend to say something strange because I wanted to write something on a building I was drawing. She said that. I don't know if it was a quote of something. If you do, please tell me.


	5. Chapter 5

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 5 -- The Chapter of Re-Hash

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

In the last chapter I re-used a lot of old jokes. I'll do some more in this one too!

Worf: Are you a part-time stapling machine?

Brian Epstein: Haven't I already told you this once?

Frizz: Yes, but this is the chapter of re-hash!

Brian Epstein: Lovely.

Andy Warhol: In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.

Fred: You're crazy.

Being crazy is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

Entipy: She's right.

Sarah: Oooh! I have a joke! Why did the chicken lay an egg?

…

Sarah: To get to the other side!

Data: That was not funny.

Frizz: This is just like on T.V when the characters are trapped and they remember everything that happened!

David Bowie: Well we _are_ trapped.

Worf: -Chugs prune juice-

Frizz: Ooo! I remember that! From the very first chapter!

Sarah: Way back when you actually used StarTrek characters!

Entipy: STOP USING MY IDEAS!

I didn't use you're ideas.

Entipy: I know. It was just for old time's sake.

David Bowie: Zane Zane Zane.

Brian Epstein: -Vanishes in a puff of orange smoke-

Sarah: Wow. You only used the puff of orange smoke in that bad Artemis Fowl story.

Frizz: Life is far too important to ever be talked about seriously.

Oscar Wilde: Hey! That's mine!

Frizz: No it's not. I paraphrased what you said.

That… was really bad. I'm out of creativity! I need Entipy to write some more stuff that I can copy!


	6. Chapter 6

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 6 -- I Have No Idea

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

**Wood!** That's all I have to say.

Frizz: Hee hee hee. Wood. Ha.

David Bowie (Singing): Doo doo do do doo do doo REBEL REBEL…. -Continues singing-

Andy Warhol: In fifteen minutes, you will explode.

David Bowie: What an odd prediction Andy.

Artemis Fowl: -Appears in a puff of smoke-

Artemis Fowl: -Vanishes in a puff of smoke-

Sarah: Strange, usually when they bother to use the smoke, they have something to say.

Worf: Why did that happen anyway?

Entipy: It was my idea!

**WOOD! **

Fred: What's with the wood?

Data: It's better than "Finland".

Frizz: Hey!

David Bowie: -Explodes-

Frizz: Aw man!

Andy Warhol: I told you that would happen.

Sarah: What do you think wood symbolizes in this case?

Frizz: I have no idea.

Data: Oooh! That's what this chapter is called!

Fred: Shouldn't this chapter be called "wood"?

Andy Warhol: No, it should be called "Eggnog"

David Bowie: WOOD!

Entipy: I thought you exploded.

Fred: He did Entipy, he did.

Entipy: Than why is he here now? Shouldn't he have gone to a department store?

David Bowie: I did! And I got some lovely shoes.

Andy Warhol: Ooo!

Data: That was weird.

Fred: It was, Data, it was.

Sarah: -Begins to paint the tree purple-

Worf: What tree? With what? What is going on?

I have no idea.

Wood.


	7. Chapter 7

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 7 -- Weird

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

I guarantee you, this chapter will be weird. Like all the other ones.

Frizz: That was such a throw away intro! It needs to be changed immediately!

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

Entipy: No, no, no! That's already been done! Try something else!

Space. The final frontier….

Worf: That has been done as well!

Okay then.

**SHE LOVES YOU YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! **

Andy Warhol: Much better!

Entipy: This story is so random. It really needs a plot.

Frizz: WHAT? A _plot?_

Entipy: Yes. A plot. I don't understand why you don't have one now.

Frizz: I don't have the creativity to come up with a _plot_!

David Bowie: You did for "Madness".

Frizz: How do you know about that? Anyway, it's much funnier without the plot. Think about it. If this story had a plot, would dear, sweet, Fred be here right now?

Data: Dear, sweet, Fred? Have you completely lost your mind?

Frizz: Yes.

…

Data: Now is usually the time when the narrator interrupts to say something completely irrelevant.

Yes, it is, but since I have nothing prepared, I've brought John Lennon in to say something completely irrelevant.

John Lennon: Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup they slither while they pass they slip away, across the…

Fred: Okay, enough complete irrelevancy.

David Bowie, Worf, Entipy, Frizz and Sarah: Hey! I like the Beatles!

Sarah: How come the Beatles haven't made an appearance in this story or the last one?

Frizz: Gasp! They didn't enter the last story, did they? That needs to be fixed!

David Bowie and Andy Warhol: -Vanish-

John Lennon appears.

John Lennon: But I already appeared!

Oh well.

Brian Epstein appears.

Brian: Oh, hello John.

Frizz: -Grins to herself-

Sarah: Why are you grinning?

Frizz: Many reasons, none of which I will mention now.

Fred: This is all very weird.

-Continues grinning- And you'll never know why!


	8. Chapter 8

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 8 -- Chapter 308

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

I can't think of anything except something about aspirin I heard in a lecture.

Frizz: -Continues grinning-

Sarah: I remember that lecture! And then we did jumping jacks in the rain while singing the Llama Song and saying "Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!"

Oh yeah. That was fun.

Jessica: It was fire-bending jumping jacks!

Sarah: Yeah!

Frizz: -Continues grinning-

Data: Why are you grinning?

Frizz: -Continues grinning-

John Lennon: -Picks up phone that has been ringing-

John Lennon: Hello? Oh, hi. -Hands it to Frizz- It's for you.

Frizz: Yes?

Person on Phone: Hi. It's Dj.

Frizz: Hi! What do you want? How did you call here?

Dj on Phone: Well, I called to say I… died.

Frizz: Oh. Okay. Wait… are you calling from a department store?

Dj: How'd you know?

Frizz: Andy Warhol is a genius.

Frizz: -Hangs up phone-

Brian Epstein: Why would anyone call to say they had died?

Frizz: Only people who are forced to go to lectures.

Jessica: POTATO TEMPERATURE!

Frizz: I remember that!

Jessica: -Vanishes-

Entipy: Why did she vanish?

Sarah: Why does anyone vanish?

Frizz: What is foreshadowing?

Worf: I do not know!

John: Why does everything you say end with an exclamation mark?

Worf: I do not know!

Frizz: -Goes back to grinning.-

Fred: Hey, remember when I used to be a penguin? Good times… good times. But being a goat is good too! I can eat cans!

Jessica: "I can eat cans." That sounds funny.

Jessica: Hey Frizz, why are you grinning?

Entipy: I think it has something to do with foreshadowing.

Jessica: What it foreshadowing?

Entipy: **Does anybody here know what foreshadowing is? **

Data: I do!

Entipy: Then will you please tell everybody else?

Data: Negative.

Entipy: Why not?

Data: It is much more fun this way.

Frizz: -Still grinning-

Wow. This chapter was really long! I've gone into three pages! I think that's the longest one in the whole series.

Oh, Entipy, in case you didn't get the message, please tell me what foreshadowing is!


	9. Chapter 9

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 9 -- The Holiday Special!

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Happy Holidays!

Jessica: Frizz, if you're Jewish, why are you having a Christmas special?

Frizz: It's a holiday special!

**HAPPY **_Andy Warhol-_**IDAYS FROM BARNEY'S IN NEW YORK CITY! **

John: What was that?

Frizz: Just some advertising.

Data: It is too bad Andy Warhol was not here to see that advertisement.

Worf: Yes it is!

Brian: Je suis fromage!

Frizz: That's French for "I am cheese"!

Fred: Why are you speaking in French?

Brian: Je m'appelle Brian Epstein!

Sarah: Would this have anything to do with the French test you're taking tomorrow?

Maybe.

**YOU CAN DO ALL YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING AT BOB'S DEPARTMENT STORE LOCATED ON THE MOON! **

Worf: Which moon? What planet are we on anyway?

Frizz: We're somewhere interesting.

Entipy: Is that the department store that people go to?

Frizz: Yes.

Sarah: Is this chapter just going to be a bunch of advertisements?

**BUY THE WINSTON LEG-THIGH DICTIONARY! GREAT GIFT FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES! USE IT TO LOOK UP WORDS LIKE FORESHADOWING! **

Entipy: Ugh.

John: Hey! Winston Leg-Thigh is my alias!

**GET YOUR VERY OWN POTATO FOR ONLY $19.95 AT THE CLOSEST SUPERMARKET TO YOUR HOUSE! **

**GIVE THE GIFT OF GIFT GIVING AT THE DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT! **

Jessica: This is a subliminal message! Buy Coke! Buy Coke!

Data: Suddenly I have the irresistible urge to buy a Coke!

Brian: Moi aussi!

John: Eppy, why are you speaking in French?

Brian: Je ne sais pas!

Entipy: This is all weird.

**SPEND! SPEND! SPEND! SPEND TODAY AT KATIE'S FRUIT STORE! BUY FRUITCAKE THAT NO ONE WILL EAT! **

Entipy: Yeah, really weird.

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW TODAY FOR THIS FAN FICTION! **


	10. Chapter 10

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 10 -- A Lad Insane

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

I deem David Bowie "Aladdin Sane" the greatest album in the universe!

Frizz: I second that!

Entipy: Is he paying you for advertisement?

Well, he should.

Brian Epstein: What about the Beatles?

Okay, I revise; Aladdin Sane is the greatest David Bowie album in the universe.

Suddenly, Capt. Picard and Riker entered through the door out of nowhere.

Jessica: Muffin!

John Lennon: Perhaps you're smiling now. Smiling through this darkness…

David Bowie (randomly appearing): My line!

John Lennon: FAME!

David Bowie: Hey! I could write a song about that! -Goes to write a song about that-

Data: Time- he flexes like...

Sarah: THIS STORY IS RATED K!

Fred: Data! You naughty person!

Data: Sorry.

Riker: I though that it was rated K plus.

Capt. Picard: -looks around suspiciously- I think someone is stalking me!

Frizz: You're stalking yourself.

Jessica: If I were me, I would _so_ stalk myself.

Worf: But, you are you.

Jessica: No I'm not. I was a dolphin before humans evolved.

Frizz: And I was an oyster! But now I'm a Fishneckle.

Entipy: I thought you were a pickle!

Frizz: I was, before I became an eccentric!

Sarah: You were always eccentric.

Brian Epstein: But you my love were kind, but love has left you dreamless.

John Lennon: o O 

Worf: Why have you not turned off the underline setting? 

I have. Just now!

Spot: Meow.

Data: Hello Spot!

Riker: Why did you name him Spot if he has no spots?

Spot: Who will love Aladdin… I mean, Meow.

Fred: POTATO!

Aladdin Sane Aladdin Sane Aladdin Sane! Review! Aladdin Sane Aladdin Sane!


	11. Chapter 11

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 11 -- House, Cut Your Leg Off! And other odd jokes.

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

In the last chapter everyone was repeating lines from Aladdin Sane.

Riker: The bodies on the screen stopped bleeding!

Capt. Picard: What in the world…?

Suddenly, a house walked by.

Jessica (singsong voice): House, cut your leg off!

House: But I don't wanna cut my leg off! I like it!

Jessica: It's either that or face the wrath of awkwardness!

Entipy: The wrath of awkwardness?

House: She's nuts, right?

Frizz: She's a complete wackjob!

Fred: If you're a house, how can you walk and talk?

House: Look who's talking!

Brian:**…**

John: Hey! You've got to hide your love away!

Data: Why did you put Brian's name down if he was not going to say anything?

Don't question the logic! It doesn't exist!

Sarah: So, House, does anyone live inside you?

House: No, someone did once, but they moved out a little while ago. Someone by the name of Jeff Goldingstien III.

Dear Sir, Madam or otherwise,

Thank you for the eels. They were quite delicious. Say, have you heard David Bowie's album, Aladdin Sane? It's quite smashing!

Yours truly,

Jeff Goldingstien III

Worf: Why must every chapter be punctuated by this weirdness?

Frizz: Because without it, it wouldn't really be strange happenings. It would be slightly odd happenings.

I actually think that this is the shortest chapter yet.


	12. Chapter 12

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 12 -- The Twilight Zone and Santa Clause

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Happy New Year!

Frizz: Happy New Year Everybody! -Blows noise maker- -Lights fireworks- -Drops giant glass ball on Jessica's head-

Jessica: OWWW!

Sarah: I thought you watched the Twilight Zone on New Years.

Frizz: Yes, but the episode now is boring, so I decided to do this!

Riker: I love the Twilight Zone!

Frizz: Really? What's your favorite episode?

Riker: Probably "It's a Good Life". That kid gave me the creeps.

Frizz: Mine is "Mute". Or "Will the Real Martian Please Stand". Or "The Masks". Or maybe…

Worf: I believe you do not have a favorite episode!

Data: My favorite is "I Sing the Body Electric".

Capt. Picard: That's oddly fitting.

Frizz: That title is so weird!

House: My favorite is "The Monsters are Due on Maple Street".

John and Brian: What is the Twilight Zone?

Frizz: Science fiction!

Dr. Bashir: My favorite episode is "To Serve Man".

Entipy: Woo! Deep Space 9!

Jessica: I really should start watching this show. Then I may have an idea of what was going on.

Dr. Bashir: -Disappears-

Queen Lydia Liliuokalani: Is disappearing the same as vanishing?

Queen Lydia Liliuokalani: -Vanishes-

Just then, Santa Clause walked by

Fred: Go away! You're holiday was five days ago!

Capt. Picard: Now, now, you shouldn't be mean to Santa Clause.

Santa Clause: I need directions to the South Pole.

John: Go straight to the North Pole…

Santa Clause: Umhum…

John: And go straight down.

Santa Clause: Thanks! Bye!

Sarah: You know, we've been Somewhere Interesting for the whole fic. Let's go somewhere else.

Sarah: -Brings everyone to the North Pole-

Frizz: -Stares at John and Brian- -Begins grinning again-

Once again, Happy New Year! Just so you know, the thing with Santa Clause was writer's block Worst. Case. Scenario.


	13. Chapter 13

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 13 --

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Dear Miss Frizz K. West,

I strongly object to your series of fan fiction stories titled "The Strange Happenings Trilogy". It contains no plot, many characters that have nothing to do with the fandom, random outbursts from the narrator puncture the dialoged and most of all you continue to use the exact same disclaimer continually. Also, I have heard rumors that this story will be a trilogy of five parts. I ask that you stop writing this story before it gets out of hand and takes over the world.

Sincerely,

Iva Bignose

Sarah: I didn't know your last name was West. I always thought it was Maneatinggerbil.

Frizz: I had it changed.

Capt. Picard: What does the "K" Stand for?

Frizz: Beats me.

Sarah: You know, it's awfully cold here. Let's go somewhere warmer!

Sarah: -Sends everyone to The Middle of Nowhere, North Dakota.-

Entipy: Interesting choice.

Jessica: Why do you make me look like an idiot in this fic?

Frizz: -Turns Jessica into Albert Einstein-

Albert Einstein: E equals mc2.

John Lennon: K. West… isn't that a street in England?

Frizz: Only if you're a David Bowie fan.

Silence.

Fred: Well that made no sense.

Worf: Holy Cats! It's a flying moose!

All look up to see a flying moose.

Brian: Interesting.

Moose: -Falls, crushing Brian, then walks away-

Riker: How many time do you get to see that?

Capt. Picard: Too many, in my opinion.

Sorry I couldn't get this up sooner, but Fanfiction's been tormenting me! Whenever I log on, they tell me I need to log on to accesses the page! After the millionth try, I nearly smashed the monitor.


	14. Chapter 14

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 14 -- The Anniversary Edition

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

This is the first anniversary of Strange Happenings! WOW!

Riker: You mean this utter randomness has been going on for a year?

Data: Unfortunately.

Frizz: Wow. A year. A year of omnipotence. A year of weirdness. A year of killing and resurrecting Picard.

Sarah: A year of doing nothing.

Entipy: A year of reviewing.

Capt. Picard: A year of suffering.

Fred: A year of fun!

Frizz: -Brings everyone back to the island on the planet from the first chapter ever-

Entipy: Not here again!

Frizz: So many memories…

Jessica: Well, this story was nothing until I came along.

John Lennon: Green, green, green, so I did.

Frizz: You haven't made that movie yet!

John Lennon: How would you know? Hmm?

Frizz: Because your hair is in a mop-top! For "How I Won the War" you cut it, so you haven't been in the movie yet!

Worf: I believe this is a prime example of obsession gone too far.

Sarah: ARRRGGG!

Riker: Why did you say "ARRRGGG"?

Sarah: Personal reasons. Also, my brain is melting.

Riker: Really?

Sarah: Yeah. Sad, isn't it?

Capt. Picard: It's a real shame.

John Lennon: BANG!

Data: Bang?

John Lennon: BANG!

Data: Ah, I see. BANG!

John Lennon and Data: BANG!

Fred: Why are you saying "BANG"?

Data: No reason.

**WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! **

Jessica: Umm….

Sorry. I have that song stuck in my head. QUEEN! Got mud on you face you big disgrace…

Entipy: That's enough singing!

Singing is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

I still can't get over it. A year! It's a wonder I don't have carpel tunnel syndrome. Anyway, review!


	15. Chapter 15

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 15 -- The Only Appropriate Response

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Wait…wait…I'm looking… I'm looking… I…I can't find my list of characters! Oh, what will I do? I don't know who's in the story! Oh, how will it go on? How will I… Oh, here it is. Sorry.

Entipy: Do you really need a list of the characters?

Frizz: Yes, because they keep dying and leaving the department store!

John Lennon: -Picks up shovel-

Jessica: PUT DOWN THAT SHOVEL!

Capt. Picard: -Explodes-

Sarah: That's really the only appropriate response, isn't it?

Exploding is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

Jessica: I'm looking on the thingy!

Data: Are you alright?

Frizz: -Brings everyone aboard the USS Lollipop-

Worf: The USS Lollipop?

Riker: You know! From the episode with the robots that killed everyone? Back when Tasha was alive? I can't remember the title.

Worf: I do not recall.

Fred: Ahh, the Lollipop. What a ship!

John Lennon: So, why aren't I allowed to pick up shovels?

Jessica: Because Ms. Meady said so. Hey, narrator/Frizz/person/thing, could I get some better lines?

Sure.

Jessica: You may think that I'm mad as a hatter when I tell you a cat must have three different names!

Sarah: That was from CATS!

Entipy: I've been reviewing this story for a year!

Data: Why did you say that?

Entipy: I felt it was the only appropriate response under the circumstances.

Fred: Can I have more lines?

You need to fill out a form, then loose it, then find it, then submit it, then we'll loose it, find it, review it, loose it again, bury it in a hole and dig it up seven months later, and then we'll consider it.

Fred: Okay then. I'll stick with the one's I get.

Computer: Can I have some lines?

Frizz: Only if you are willing to undergo painful gal bladder surgery that will only prolong your problemes.

Then, suddenly…

Cliffhanger! Yeah! The only appropriate response to this is to review.


	16. Chapter 16

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 16 -- Spam Rat and Spam

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Last time on Oh No, Not Again:

_Frizz: Only if you are willing to undergo painful gal bladder surgery that will only prolong your problemes. _

And now the continuation…

888888

Then suddenly darkness descended!

Riker: What happened?

Jessica: The power failed! Duh!

Then the power came back on.

Sarah: Okay.

Frizz: Let's go to the restaurant!

Entipy: Starships have restaurants?

Data: This is the new model. They all have restaurants now.

They go to the restaurant.

Waitress: We have milk, undead jugged rabbit fish, spam, spam and spam, spam spam sausage and spam, rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, rat and strawberry tart.

John Lennon: Strawberry tart?

Waitress: Well, it's got some rat in it.

Fred: How much?

Waitress: Three. Quite a lot, really.

Entipy: Could I have one slice of strawberry tart without so much rat in it?

Worf: And some milk.

SOME MILK AND ONE SLICE OF STRAWBERRY TART WITHOUT SO MUCH RAT IN IT LATER.

Entipy: That was almost totally awful.

Worf: I quite enjoyed the milk.

Fred: Figures.

Riker: Waitress, could I have some totally unmoving gagh?

Worf: -Shudders-

Waitress: We only have moving gagh with spam.

Riker: Is the spam moving?

Waitress: Only a little bit.

Viking: SPAM SPAM SPAM LOVELY SPAM SPAM SPAM LOVELY SPAAAAAM!

Waitress: SHUT UP! Stupid Viking, always coming in here and singing about spam every hour of every…

Viking: **SPAM SPAM LOVELY SPAM WONDERFUL SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! **

Waitress: I QUIT! -Leaves in a huff-

No, wait, she left in a taxi. Sorry.

Viking: Spamspamspamspamspamreviewspamspamspamspamsapm….


	17. Chapter 17

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 17 -- The Question of Existence

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Do we exist? I've been wondering that for I while… I don't know… Interesting question…

Frizz: I know that I don't exist. At least not physically. I'm an alternate persona!

Jessica: I only don't exist because of crapes. I LOVE crapes!

Fred: I think I must exist. I think, therefore I am.

Entipy: But, if you don't exist, then your thoughts mean nothing!

Data: I do not believe I exist. Only in the minds of the psycho trekkies. Brent Spinner exists though.

John Lennon: Nothing is real/ And nothing to get hung about/ Strawberry fields forever…

Riker: Let's go with that!

Viking: I exist because spam exists! Ahh spam… lovely spam…

Worf: This is all very philosophical and should stop immediately. My brain hurts.

John Lennon: Dig a pony/ Well you can radiate everything you are/ Yes, you can radiate everything you are/ Oh now…

Frizz: The blasted jam doughnut! And the Victorian era wall paper!

Jessica: What was that?

Frizz: Just some Oscar Wilde related stuff.

Viking: What do you _do_ in your spare time?

Frizz: Oscar Wilde.

Jessica: Oscar Wilde is a noun Frizz, not a verb.

Frizz: That's what you think!

**This program has been interrupted to give you some facts about the life of Oscar Wilde. He was born October 16th 1854. He died on November 30th of cerebral meningitis. Throughout his life he expressed a distain for wallpaper, redundancy, and, most importantly, jam doughnuts, which he called evil little things that should never see the light of day. **

**This is entirely true. Except for the part about that jam doughnut. And now, a Viking… **

Viking: I think that we should tax all foreigners living abroad.

Interviewer: And why do you think that?

Viking: Well… I feel that I can best answer that question with mime. -Does so-

Interviewer: I see.

**And now back to the story. **

Frizz: I always enjoy these little bits that come up every so often, don't you?

Jessica: They never make any sense! What was with the Viking and the miming and the jam doughnut and the Oscar Wilde and the…

Viking: Hey! I thought I did a very good job with the miming. I practiced that for weeks!

Jessica: Oh, I'm not saying that the miming was bad, I quite liked it, I just thought that it was unnecessary.

Viking: Unnecessary? UNNECESSARY? **UNNECESSARY MIMING? **I've never heard such an insult! Miming is very necessary! So necessary in fact that without it, I feel that the world would go into complete chaos!

Sarah: Didn't David Bowie start off as a mime?

And so, the moral of the story is, never insult a Viking's miming abilities. Ever.


	18. Chapter 18

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 18 -- Like Father, Like Son

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

I woke up with a song from Aida, "Like Father, Like Son", stuck in my head. More specifically, this part…

Radames: I appreciate too well/ Squallier a which you excel/ It isn't very hard to tell/ Evil's a distinctive smell/

Sarah: I always find it's best to start off the day with a musical number.

John Lennon: Don't let me down!/ Nobody ever loved me like she does/

Jessica: OMG! Adam Pascal played Radames and Roger from RENT! YAY!

Viking: Must be a loony…

Worf: I prefer Klingon opera!

Fred: Well, of course. But I would prefer the sound of a platypus gargling vanilla pudding.

Entipy: _Why? _

Fred: It's what we usually listen to on Essuoral.

Riker: Isn't that the name of an English/French dictionary spelled backwards?

Frizz: Maybe…

John Lennon: Ooo she does/ Yes she does/ She done me good/

Data: Who are you referring to?

John Lennon: Yoko…

Data: Ah. And what did Yoko do?

John Lennon (thinks this over): …Yoko…

Oscar Wilde: The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Frizz: Where'd you come from?

Oscar Wilde: I am not young enough to know everything.

Viking: ANDROMEDA, HO!

Entipy: Could this be any more random?

_**OF COURSE! AND NOW THE FAMOUS OWL IN A BANANA… **_

(Go.)

_****__**FOLLOWED BY THE SINGLE WEIRDEST THING YOU'LL SEE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE… **_

(If it's not, show me something weirder)

Data: Yes, that is the single weirdest thing I've seen in my entire life.

When I sat down to type up the weekly chapter I realized that I had no ideas over the week. Terribly sorry about the horrible chapter. But I had Kliban!


	19. Chapter 19

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 19 -- _Hey,_ Do You Have Any _Money?_

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Hello! I'm in denial! No matter what anyone tells you, this is _not_ the last day of February break. No. It's just not. Really.

Fred: Denial is good for the soul.

AND NOW, A VIKING SINGING ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING POP SONGS THAT EVERYONE SEEMS TO LIKE SO MUCH**…**

Viking: -Sings one of those annoying pop songs that everyone seems to like to much-

Sarah: Gee, that was a bit early, wasn't it?

Frizz: Yes, but I felt I needed to brake the monotone.

Andy Warhol (really weird tones): _Hey, _can I borrow some _money? _

Riker: How'd you get here?

John Lennon: Where are we again?

Data: We are on the USS Lollipop.

Entipy: How come where ever we go the same stuff happens?

Viking: Beats me.

Entipy: You know, I think that adding a Viking to the story really adds a sort of irony that wasn't there before.

Worf: Well, what do you say that?

Entipy: Well, I think…

Andy Warhol: -clears throat loudly- I _said _"_Hey, _can I borrow some _money?"_

Frizz: Well Andy, I would give you the money, but I have none, and in the 24th century, there is no need for money. Unless you happen to be Frengie.

Andy: Well that's a pretty crummy century if you ask me.

Data: What do you want to buy?

Andy: Just a painting. It's called "Marilyn Monroe"

Riker: Didn't you paint that?

Andy: Yes.

Riker: And don't you own it?

Andy: Yes.

Riker: So, you need to barrow money to buy your painting from yourself?

Andy: Yes.

Riker: Why?

Andy: Well, I was a little short on cash, so I decided to sell some of my paintings. Then, when I was looking around at some art that was for sale, I noticed that I was selling a lovely painting of Marilyn Monroe, and, being such a big fan, I decided to buy it, but I was a little short on cash, so I hoped one of you could lend me some.

Jessica: Makes perfect sense to me.

Sarah: I thought you were in England.

Jessica: Oh, I was, but then I came across a scientist named Seth the Goat, and a few things happened, and I ended up back here.

Andy: Makes perfect sense to me. _Hey_, do you have any _money?_

Jessica: How much do you need?

Andy: A hundred dollars.

Jessica: -Hand Andy a hundred dollars-

Andy: -Vanishes in a puff of, not smoke, but tomato soup, leaving everyone else covered in the stuff-

NOT THE LAST DAY OF VACATION! NO. NO. DEFIANTLY NOT.


	20. Chapter 20

Oh No, Not Again!

Chapter 20 -- Pea Soup has No Honor

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

In the last chapter Jessica lost 100 dollars to Andy Warhol, who then vanished in a puff of tomato soup, leaving everyone covered in the stuff.

Viking: Oh my goodness gracious! I'm covered in tomato soup!

Sarah: That's really one of those things that you never thought you'd hear in your entire life.

Fred: Especially from a Viking.

Entipy: That depends on how much time you spend with Vikings.

Andy Warhol: Yes, Vikings are rather sensitive to soup.

Data: Didn't you just vanish in a puff of tomato soup, leaving everyone covered in the stuff?

Andy: Yes, and I came to apologise. Terribly sorry 'bout that.

Worf: It's okay. I like tomato soup. It is an honorable soup.

Frizz: I agree entirely. Miso soup is also quite an honorable soup.

Riker: What about pea soup?

Worf: Pea soup has no honor!

Capt. Picard: -Enter stage left-

Jessica: So, what's your opinion on pea soup?

Capt. Picard: Pea soup? Bah! Humbug! Pea soup is without honor!

Entipy: So, it's agreed. Pea soup has no honor!

All: Agreed!

Sarah: No that that's settled, I say we go to the habitat ring!

Fred: That's in DS9.

Andy: Hello, I'm Andy Warhol, and I've just finished a hamburger.

John Lennon: Have you really?

Andy: Yes, yes I have.

John Lennon: Where did you find the time to do that?

Andy: I just stopped time.

Data: You can stop time?

Andy: Can't everybody? Besides, how did you think I managed to paint Marylyn Monroe in so many different colors?

Capt. Picard: I always assumed that you just used your time wisely.

Andy: I make a point to never do anything wisely. It ruins the fun of it all.

Frizz: It really does, doesn't it?

Viking: I disagree. Wisdom is good for the soul.

Jessica: Stuff that's good for the soul takes the fun out of everything. Except denial.

Riker: Denial is _good_.

Data: What is the point of denial?

Viking: How come Andy Warhol's had seven lines and Data's had three and the rest of us have had only two?

Fred: Because Andy's been an active part of two conversations and Data just babbles.

Sarah: Well, now you've both gotten two more lines! What about the rest of us?

Frizz: Power to the people!

Riker: I'm fine with my number of lines. I never say anything stupid.

Entipy: I'm sure you have at some point.

Capt. Picard: Nope. He really never has.

Worf: What about that time at the mattress store?

Jessica: There are mattress stores in the 24th century?

Mattress stores are a perfectly normal phenomenon.

Okay, this is the twentieth chapter in "Oh No, Not Again!", the third part of the Strange Happenings Trilogy. As you may have noticed, each story has twenty chapters. So this is the end. But I don't want it to end. So, you people who review me need to tell me whether you want me to make this a trilogy in five parts or to stop here. Thanks SO much to Entipy of Nothing, PEACE IS GOODandsoisrent and sarahbuggs for reviewing consistently and giving me the praise that has expanded my ego to massive proportions.

Love and other sensitive stuff,

Frizz K. West


	21. Epilogue

Oh No, Not Again!

Epilogue

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

And so, the group spent many years roaming the galaxy, all trying to get back home. This was of course, impossible, because they were all from different time periods. It was only after a series of events, triggered by Fred eating a very bad bowl of pea soup, that the group realized that Frizz and Sarah could send them all home. So they did. Sarah went on to spontaneously combust on 27 separate occasions and quit her job as a part-time stapling machine, before her death in 2207, in an accident involving pudding, an eraser, and six orange magic markers. Frizz went on to write this whole story. Interestingly enough, shortly after Andy Warhol returned home, he uttered his famous quote, "In the future, everybody will be famous for fifteen minutes." a statement which is almost completely irrelevant to the topic.

333333

Yes, that is the end. I am extremely depressed, but, bear in mind, it had to end someday. This story has improved my writing and sense of humor greatly, and I imagine that it saved many of you from extreme boredom. I still can't believe that I wrote 60 (now 61) chapters of utter insanity. And that people actually remained interested. Once again, thank you, to all my lovely reviewers, and even to those who read and do not review. I leave you with this finial word of randomness: Pork.

Love, kisses and some more equally sensitive stuff,

Frizz K. West


End file.
